Communication advice for carers

Before you speak

• Take a moment to calm
• Consider what you are going to talk about, have topic ready, or consider what you want to achieve from the conversation.
• Make sure you have the person’s full attention and they can see you clearly.
• Always access the person with dementia from the front.
• Try to make eye contact. This will help the person focus on you.
• Minimise competing noises, a quiet calm environment is best.
• Talk one on one as a conversation in a group can be overwhelming.
• Give the person some signs, as touching hand, or use the person’s name before you start the conversation to ensure you have their attention.

How to speak

• Speak clearly, calmly and at a slightly slower pace with lots of pausing.
• Avoid speaking sharply or raising your voice.
• Use short, simple sentences.
• Don’t talk as if they are not there or talk to them as you would to a young child, show respect and patience.
• Try to laugh together about misunderstandings and mistakes, it can help.
• Include the person in conversations with others and being part of a social group can help preserve the persons their sense of identity.

What to say

• Be positive.
• Avoid asking too many direct questions but if you have to ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no.
• Allow the person to make simple choices where there are 2 to 3 options.
• If the person doesn’t understand what you are saying, avoid simply repeating the same thing. Try breaking down complex explanations into smaller parts.
• Try different ways to get your message across, perhaps use written words or objects.
• If the person says something you know to be incorrect, steer the conversation around the subject rather than contradicting them directly.
• Do not stress the person with dementia to respond, it may be appropriate to take a break and come back to the discussion or conversation later
• Encourage the person with dementia to use any form of communication they feel comfortable with, for example, gesture or writing.
• Use objects of reference to support understanding, for example, showing two different meals to help them make a choice or showing objects such as clothing items or towel to indicate getting dressed or washed.

Listening

• Listen carefully, give encouragement, and show that you care.
• When you haven’t understood fully, tell the person what you have understood and check with them to see if you are right.
• If the person has difficulty finding the right word, listen out for clues.
• Pay attention to their body language, for example, the way they hold themselves and move can all tell you about how they are feeling.
• If the person is feeling sad, let them express their feelings without trying to ‘jolly them along’.
• Try to let the person with dementia to complete their thoughts and make choices themselves.
• Give enough time to process information and to respond

Body language and physical contact

• Consider your body language, sudden movements or a tense facial expression may cause upset.
• Match your body language to what you are saying.
• Respect their personal space and drop below their eye level to help them feel more in control of the situation.
• Use physical contact to communicate your care and affection by holding or patting the person’s hand or putting your arm around them, if it feels right.

How you can help someone with dementia and hearing loss

• Do not shout or over-exaggerate words as this will distort your speech.
• Do not cover your mouth.
• Get onto the same level as them so that they are looking at your face straight on.
• Make sure the area is quiet and well-lit.
• Use visual clues: Write your message down if the person is able to read and use objects or pictures to help the person understand. For example, show the person the meals they can choose from.